Roleplaying in Bedlam
How do you avoid the stress and strain of everyday life?
Simple - try roleplaying. For those of you who have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about, I'll describe it.
Some people have accused those of us who roleplay of being sad (we've got no life, therefore we pretend to be someone else), being satanists (OK, one of the games I play has us playing the parts of Vampires), and other, similar, and totally unjustified accusations. Really.
The best way to describe roleplaying is as a film. One person (known as the Gamesmaster (GM) or Storyteller, depending on what you're playing) acts as the director, producer, etc, and usually plays the parts of most of the world's inhabitants. The rest of the players get to play the lead characters. Currently I play Vampire, Immortal, and Conspiracy X. We should be starting a Werewolf game soon , as well. If you think this is a bit much, I've just graduated, and I need some time when I can really get away from it all. For a good description of roleplaying, as well as some of the specific chronicles (stories) that I'm playing in, try Darknight's Roleplaying page.
And before you start thinking that we all play vampires, I play one game set in the Star Wars universe - one of the better games around. Another is based in a world similar to the X-Files, but the players would consider Mulder and Scully security breaches and kill them.
The Games
Vampire: OK. Here's the basic plot. Vampires exist, and have ontrolled humans ever since the days of Babylon. It's set in the modern world, and the players (usually) take the part of young vampires, caught up in the plots of their Elders. I currently play in three Vampire Chonicles (extended stories). In one we (the players and myself) are investigating a huge amount of strange stuff. Currently we are looking for the Holy Grail. I'm not sure what exactly is going to happen, but that's part of the fun. In the other, we are playing a bunch of demon-hunting vampires, my character is a biker who has no reflection. Strange, but hell, sanity's boring. The third's in London, and is currently . . . well . . . odd. For those of you who already play Vampire, here's the Antideluvian Board Meeting.
Immortal: You've seen Higlander? Good. You're one of those Immortals. It's set in the same world as Vampire. Enough? Currently, I still have my head, and we're in Rome, about 300 AD.
Conspiracy X: Similar in style to the X-Files, but where Mulder and Scully try to uncover the conspiracies, the players are part of the conspiracy. Cross the basic idea of Men In Black with the X-Files atmosphere (make sure it's scary) and you've got the right idea.
Werewolf: This is set in the same world as Vampire, but is a whole lot simpler. The players take the part of Werewolves, who are the defenders of Gaia (the world, basically) against the forces of corruption, which show up as environmental damage, pollution, deforestation and so on. They've been called 400-pound ecoterrists with fangs, which is about right. There's less politicking, intrigue and backstabbing than in Vampire, as it can easily develop into a full-scale battle. Usually the other characters won't betray you, unlike Vampire. If you don't have the patience for Vampire tonight, play Werewolf.
The Antildeluvian Board Meeting
<shuffling and muttering sounds>
VENTRUE: Okay, guys, sit down. I suppose you're wondering why
I've called you all here.
TOREADOR: I should think so. I have an engagement in two hours
that I simply MUST attend, and I don't want to be late.
VENTRUE: Yeah, yeah. Order. <banging noise> Well, I don't
know about you guys, but my Progeny have been asking some rather
... embarassing questions, and I--
MALKAV: Just tell them that when a Mummy and a Daddy love each
other very much--
VENTRUE: Shut up, Malkav. Anyway, they want to know where we come
from, why, how, the whole bit. I think it's time we had an answer
for them.
<silence>
BRUJAH: Well, what are you asking us for? WE don't fucking know.
SAULOT: LANGUAGE!
BRUJAH: Sorry.
VENTRUE: What about you, Ralph? You seem to have your nose in
every-thing.
NOSFERATU: No, I am ... no longer called "Ralph." From
this day forward, you shall call me: "Nosferatu."
<silence>
RAVNOS: I dunno, man. Ralph suits you.
NOSFERATU: No! I REFUSE to be stuck with that name.
VENTRUE: Leave him alone Ravnos.
TOREADOR: Actually, while we're on the subject ...
VENTRUE: What is it now?
TOREADOR: I have taken the pseudonym "Toreador."
<more silence>
HASSAM: You've never even SEEN a bull, let alone fight one,
Norman.
TOREADOR: LEAVE ME ALONE !!!
RAVNOS: I was gonna say something about "full of ..."
Oh, never mind.
VENTRUE: SHALL we get back to business?
LASOMBRA: I think "Nosferatu" sounds cool actually,
Ralph.
NOSFERATU: And it's a lot easier to say when you can't retract
your fangs.
VENTRUE: GENTLEMEN!
<silence>
VENTRUE: Okay, any ideas?
TZIMISCE: Uh ...
VENTRUE: Yes, Tzimisce?
TZIMISCE: Yas. Do you think it vaz a disease, perrrhaps?
SAULOT: Nnnnnnno ... I don't think so. I'd know about it by now
if it was.
MALKAV: Ooo! Ooo! I've got an idea!
VENTRUE: <groan> What?
MALKAV: Ooo! Ooo! We're ALL ... aliens! Yeah! From the planet ...
Yuggoth!
BRUJAH: Malkav?
MALKAV: Yeah?
BRUJAH: Drop dead.
<silence>
MALKAV: Ain't it just TOO BAD you don't have Dominate?
BRUJAH: REAL men don't NEED Dominate!
<thud>
MALKAV: Owww!
RAVNOS: Okay, I've got it.
VENTRUE: Yes?
RAVNOS: They're not REALLY vampires, they just THINK they are.
VENTRUE: Hmmm ... not bad ... but then the dumb ones will try to
prove you wrong by taking a sunbake.
LASOMBRA: SO? Weeds out the stupid ones, less of a population
problem, less nosey Progeny asking silly questions.
TOREADOR: Lasombra, you are perverted.
LASOMBRA: Hey, am I my brother's keeper?
TZIMISCE: He has a valid point, frrriend.
TOREADOR: Sickening creatures.
<sniggering>
SAULOT: Brother's keeper ... hey! That reminds me! You know those
guys who wear the funny tea towels on their heads--
HASSAM: WATCH it, three-eyes.
SAULOT: Sorry. Anyway, they have this old story about this one
guy who kills his brother and gets cursed, see ...
SUTEKH: Cursssed, you sssay? Hmmm ... I like it!
NOSFERATU: Yeah, but if YOU say it, no-one will believe it.
TREMERE: I know! We did it by magick!
<silence>
BRUJAH: Who the hell are you?
TREMERE: Oh. Tremere, Arrogant Scheming Mage at your service!
SAULOT: Hang on, you're not supposed to be here until A.D. 1314!
TREMERE: So? I'm an Oracle of Time. I'll be when I want.
VENTRUE: A mortal, eh? Hey, Tremere!
TREMERE: Yeah?
VENTRUE: GET OUT.
TREMERE: Sure. <slam> <muffled> Damn. Must learn how
to do that.
VENTRUE: Now, we might be onto something with this
"curse" business. We haven't heard from Gangrel yet,
and we need a female opinion at this juncture. What do you think,
Gangrel?
<silence>
VENTRUE: Gangrel?
<more silence>
VENTRUE: Anybody seen Gangrel?
RAVNOS: Errr, actually, we've had a bit of a disagreement ...
MALKAV: Awww, doesn't Mummy wuv you any more?
RAVNOS: Suck off.
MALKAV: DOES she do it doggy-style?
<biff>
RAVNOS: Thank you, Brujah.
BRUJAH: No prob, bro.
VENTRUE: Okay, so what gives with this curse thing?
SAULOT: Well, they say that the first two sons of the first man
had to give offerings to God. The first brother gave plants and
stuff, and the second brother gave animal blood.
ALL: Yeah! Alright! Sounds great! Cool!
SAULOT: So the older one -- Cain, I think -- killed Abel, the
younger one, and was cursed by God for the very first murder.
HASSAM: Innovative man, this Cain.
SUTEKH: Ssso, we're dessscended from a psssychopathic
greengrocccer. How about we're dessscended from the MURDERED one,
ssso that we are the CHOSSSEN of God, the INHERITORSSS of DIVINE
POWER, the--
MALKAV: You REALLY have a God complex, don't you Sutekh? Tell me
about your mother. Did she lock you in a cupboard? Or--
<biff>
BRUJAH: Final warning, kook.
VENTRUE: Sutekh, please, stop standing on your chair.
TREMERE: I like the "cursed by God" thing, actually.
VENTRUE: How did YOU get in here?
TREMERE: Correspondence. Don't you know ANYTHING? Hey, Saulot!
SAULOT: Yeah?
TREMERE: I JUST worked out where I've seen you before. Could I
have aword with you outside? It won't take more than five
minutes. Promise.
SAULOT: Sure. You seem like a decent enough fellow.
<slam>
LASOMBRA: Wonder what he wants ... anyway ...
TOREADOR: I think I prefer the older brother. He's a charming,
regal figure who diligently sacrifices for his Lord, but is
consumed by jealousy into a desperate act -- which he regrets
later, of course -- but TOO LATE to avoid the harsh judgment of
an UNCARING God, and is DOOMED to wander the earth, OUTCAST from
his fellow man! Oh, the horror! Oh, the HUMANITY! Oh, the ANGST!
BRUJAH: What's an "angst"?
SUTEKH: Oh, it'sss a kind of a crossss, but with a loopy bit on
top. My guysss love 'em.
BRUJAH: Oh. <pause> I don't get it ...
TOREADOR: Philistines.
<scream from outside>
TZIMISCE: Vat the hell vas that?
NOSFERATU: Sounded like Saulot. HEY! YOU GUYS SHUT UP OUT THERE!
<door opens>
TREMERE: Oh, sorry, uhhh ... Saulot says to say that, uhhh, he
... had to leave -- real quick, like ... uhhh, but he was REAL
happy about it, and, uhhh, he was glad he caught up with you guys
again.
NOSFERATU: Is it me, or does he look kinda pale?
VENTRUE: Who cares? Getting back to this curse thing ...
LASOMBRA: So, are we his direct Progeny, then? 'Cos if so, how
come we don't know where he is now?
MALKAV: Errr, he made us, then ran away. Really fast.
RAVNOS: No, no, no, he made some OTHER guys first, and then THEY
made US ...
TOREADOR: And he repented of The Horror He Had Unleashed Upon The
Earth! And banished himself from the sight of ALL!
MALKAV: AND ran away really fast.
TOREADOR: If you must.
VENTRUE: But how come we're all so different?
TOREADOR: The Curse works in Mysterious Ways ...
NOSFERATU: Yeah! I used to be the most handsome man in the world
...
RAVNOS: Yeah, right.
LASOMBRA: And I had a reflection!
BRUJAH: Can I have been a philosopher?
RAVNOS: And Toreador used to have taste ...
MALKAV: And I used to be insane!
<silence>
VENTRUE: I think we might be pushing our luck here.
SUTEKH: Any BETTER ideasss?
VENTRUE: Well, let's put it to a vote, then. Magick?
TREMERE: Aye.
VENTRUE: That's one.
<silence>
VENTRUE: Okay, aliens from the planet Yuggoth?
MALKAV: Twenty-three.
VENTRUE: Your multiple personalities don't count, Malkav.
MALKAV: Awww ...
VENTRUE: The chosen son of God? ... Sutekh, Lasombra, Tzimisce.
Any others?
HASSAM: Aye.
VENTRUE: Okay, that's four. Cursed children of a psychopathic
green-
grocer? ... That's four, plus myself, five.
<groans>
LASOMBRA: Swinging the vote, you black-balling bureaucrat!
VENTRUE: If you don't like it, go and form your OWN group.
LASOMBRA: Maybe I will.
VENTRUE: Okay, then, I charge all of you to disperse this data to
your Progeny, and I'll have MY people send out memos in
triplicate to YOUR people before the start of the next fiscal
year. Meeting adjourned!
<banging noise, general muttering and shuffling> Drinks
anyone?
MALKAV: I think Tremere just ate. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaahhhh ...
TZIMISCE: Vy did you throw him out ze window, Bruhah?
BRUJAH: I dunno, man, just something I had to do ...
<sulking> none of you understand me, anyway ...
HASSAM: <whispered Hey, Tremere!>
TREMERE: What?
HASSAM: Saulot -- you did him in, didn't you? You snuffed him.
Sucked him dry.
TREMERE: Uhhh ... yeah, I did.
<silence>
HASSAM: What's it like?
--- FIN ---